Owen Wilson? Ben Afleck? Jim Carey?

Look, I don't care who the anonymous blogger Rance is. If it's one of those guys, or a complete hoax, it's still a good read. if you have any interest in the inner workings of Hollywood, you might find it interesting too, even if it is complete fiction. I'm sorry that I didn't say Fuck in this post. Oh, there I said it.

Y'all should NOT question our President!

Why is it when I read someone's blog, I never read it with a southern accent, unless it's one of THESE. Fucking religious hicks. She doesn't even mention the lord, but I know it's in there. It's also funny how followers of the shrub ALWAYS say we should not question or even debate our president. I'll bet every one of these mutherfuckers was sideways about Clinton getting a hummer. Clinton was a slippery little devil, but at least he wasn't giving the whole country a handjob like Bush is.

Only in Arkansas

15 brainwashed kids

Seems that Michelle and Jim Bob (that's not a typo) Duggar think the lord wants them to have way too many kids. I heard them in an interview this morning and Michelle said that the kids were a gift from the lord and she wants to have more. Uh... Having kids is NOT a miracle from the lord. It's biology. Almost anyone can do it. See if your husband ejaculates in your vagina, the sperm may fertilize an egg and it may grow and be born. Get it? It's not a gift. If the worst serial killer in the world fucked a crack whore that many times, she may have 15 fucked up children too. Does your god want that? Oh, right, he would want that. Children are our future, we're so fucked! I think it's time for everyone to read this site: VHEMT

Word of the day (annual edition)

pusillanimous - adj : lacking in courage and manly strength and resolution; contemptibly fear.

And you thought the word PUSSY came from a certain domesticated animal. I'm pretty sure the word was around before we started using pussy as the slang for cat, but it sounded good.

Shame on you Jaguar!

"So, what might drive you wild? Could it be the touch of skin on your fingertips? A long, honed body? Firm sensuous curves? A deep, responsive purr? ... I think I have the perfect match for you. I'll send you a photograph next week."

Stop! Too Sexy!

Jaguar actually bowed to pressure from the biggest pussies on earth and said they would no longer use such language in advertising in the future. Can we agree that if you were offended by the quote above EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T GET THAT IT WAS AN AD that you are a pussy? I would hate to live in a world where the above text would do anything but make me wonder what it was about. FUCK!

Stop praying. I need to get to Newark!

Praying Grounds Plane

"Your last breath on earth is the first one in heaven as long as you are born again and have Jesus in your heart,"

Uh, nice one dumbasses! Praying doesn't work. You God left you here alone and cold and he's not listening to you anymore. STOP IT! Some of us need to get places. This reminds of a time I was on a plane crossing the Pacific and some sort of priest was sitting a few seats away from me grasping his rosary and praying (mumbling) for hours on end. I wanted to shove his ass down the airplane's toilet.

Let's get a few things straight.

OK, first off I would like to say that George W. Bush is an idiot. I realize that this is not news to any of you, but I just had to get that off my chest so no one asks me what I think of him. Second, I'm not too sure about Kerry either, so stop calling my a liberal, you fucking religious nut. Third, I'm an atheist, but you can go ahead and worship the easter bunny all you want, it doesn't effect me unless you're a legislator. That might effect me, so stop believing in an invisible man so we can all live in peace. Religion is what is wrong with the world and if you don't believe me, then open your eyes and read a paper. And don't give me that shit about how YOUR religion is different, because is isn't. YOU may be different, but that's just because you might happen to have a little common sense to guide you in the war of right and wrong. If you didn't have religion, you would still have the same morals. Throw away the crutch. You don't need it. Ok... What's next?

NOW! The annonymous version.

OK, I'm sick of posting to my regular blog and having to watch what I say just in case someone I know or love is reading. Now I can say what I want, and you can't stop me (not that you would want to stop me).