Tuesday, May 05, 2009


So... This blog has become a blog about how I don't blog here anymore. Sweet!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Remember When I Used To Blog?

Muther Fuck! Is this thing still on??? Every six months or so I remember about this thing and stop by to reminisce about the days when I wrote brilliant prose on this very blog. It was a magical day. Oh, that's right I totally suck as a writer and if it weren't for the built in spell check in my awesome operating system, I would look like a ten year old. Annnnyway, why are yo still watching those shitty "reality" shows on television? If I hear one more adult that I assumed was smarter than a bag of rocks talk about American Idol I'm going to punch him in the throat! And don't get me started on Dancing With The Stars which just proves that gays have taken over television... Not that there's anything wrong with that. I have a gay friend..., uh, and I used to know a black kid in elementary school... I' AM NOT A RACIST!!!

That is all! Go take a nap.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Livingston Volkswagen or Volkswagon? Who cares?!

OK, I just noticed that I get a few hits here from my misspelling of Volkswagon in a previous post. So, since there are a few people reading this looking for info on Livingston Volkswagen in Woodland Hills, California. I'll tell my final story about those dicks.

This year I FINALLY got to turn in my leased Passat Wagon to Livingston Volkswagen in Woodland Hills (repeated ad nauseam for better search results). Here's the deal. When I leased the car, it was used. There was a small dent on the right rear fender and after MUCH haggling, they leased it to me as is at a lower rate. The idea was that they wouldn't have to fix the dent and neither would I if I didn't feel like it. Just return it the way I took it. Sounds great right?

Well, after four years and many problems (with the car and their horrible service department) I had the car inspected and returned it to the dealership. I was expecting them to pull out the old paperwork so they could see that the dent was there when I got it and we could take that charge off of the inspection sheet so I wouldn't have to pay for it. One convenient problem though. NO RECORD OF THE DAMAGE! You're kidding me, right? Nope.

It seems that the fine folks at Livingston Volkswagon (Volkswagen) in Woodland Hills, California never kept a record of the damage even though we haggled about it for six hours the night I leased the car. How convenient is that for them. Now, this is just my educated opinion, but I think those fuckers are shady over there. My opinion. Really, did I mention that this is my opinion?

So, of course The dealership is connected in no way with Volkswagen themselves so it's easier for both of them to tell you that you have to take it up with the other. That was fun too. The dealership says, take it up with Volkswagen and Volkswagen tells you to talk to the dealer.

So add to the damage and a few small charges like my stolen owners manual and the broken mirror adjustment knob (a total pice of shit that had to be made so it would break) the $200 return fee? and my bill to give them thier car back was just under $600.

Oh, did I mention that I returned the car 17,000 miles UNDER the alloted milage I paid for? They don't care about that. SO if you lease a car from Livingston Volkswagon (Volkswagen) in Woodland Hills, California, and I STRONGLY advise against it, make sure you drop it off with no gas and all the milage used up. You may as well get something out of all the shitty service you're going to endure throughout the life of your lease.


Wednesday, June 29, 2005


I really haven't updated this piece of shit in a long time. I only have one thing to say. That Ricardo fuck on the show Kept? What an asshole that guy was huh? I'd like to shake his hand... with a fucking garbage disposal.

Friday, March 11, 2005

It's the Time of the Year for Crack!

I just want to let everyone know that I have yet to eat ONE Girl Scout Cookie this year. I'll also let you know that it's not because I don't have access. There are four boxes in my house and I refuse to eat any. The Girl Scouts are fine the rest of the year, but this time of year they are pure fucking evil.

Monday, January 31, 2005

Mr. T Starter Kit... For Your Car.

I'll keep this short and to the point. I would like to announce the official age when you should stop hanging shit from your rearview mirror. 22. You heard me asshole, 22. I realize that at 22 you are still a stupid kid and you're still partying and trying to "hookup," but it's time for you to grow up and this is just the kind of thing to get you started. All those plastic Mardi Gras beads and your Saint Christopher medallion make you look like an idiot. Besides that, it's unsafe. I think the car manufacturers should use weaker glue so that when all the shit hanging from your mirror gets to a certain weight, the mirror falls off and it costs you $500 at the dealer to get it fixed. Grow up and take that shit down! That goes for the fifteen bumper stickers too. You know, the ones that inform us on what shitty music you're probably listening to right now? Yes those. Ok, so that wasn't short, nor to the point. Fuck you.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

$1400 to Smog My Car

Can I just say that Livingston Volkswagon in Woodland Hills, California sucks cock? They told me two days ago that my car was a 4 or 5 hour job, and here I am still waiting for a phone call. I've called them three or four times asking what's up and all I get is "Uh, there's a technician working on it right now, we'll call you when we know more." Fuck! Oh, and you read that title correctly. Because of some ABS breaking computer module problem, my car is not communicating with the smog stations computer. Parts: $1000.00, Labor: $400.00. Fuck me! I'm going to loose my shit if I have one more problem with THEIR CAR! It's a lease and it's just recently out of warranty. FIX MY CAR AND GIVE IT BACK!!! And it better be washed when I pick it up you fuckers. Someone please buy me another Honda so I don't have to go through all of this shit again.